Barack Obama is a NooB

Since Barack is officially the Democratic nominee now, the party can stop beating itself up and let the Republicans do it for them.

Now I'm not a Republican, but I do think that, recently, the conservative party has been handing the Democrats their own lunch. After the first term of Bush, the best the Dems could muster was John Kerry, who had all the charisma of a high-school librarian. Even with a majority in Congress, the Dems have been able to accomplish a net good-for that matter, net anything of zero. Bush hasn't even had to veto a whole lot to keep them in the kennel.

The party is hoping to get a fresh start with Barack Obama, the very junior senator from Illinois. The Democrats are hoping that Obama's starry-eyed idealism and high piss/vinegar content are the "fresh new thing" that they need to jumpstart their flagging political success.

It's like when Coke decided they were going to go for the "fresh new thing".

Don't get me wrong, Obama is probably the single best orator I have seem in my lifetime. His rhetoric is sweeping and inspiring, and he is brimming with confidence and charisma.

For me, however, his words ring somewhat hollow. I'll admit, his talk of change is tantalizing, especially while we sit mired in what seems like an eternity of frustratingly stagnant politics. But when the words fade away and I actually listen to what he's saying, the spell wears thin.

When it actually comes to his stance on issues, it can be hard to delve through the mountains of beautiful prose. From a purely practical standpoint, if you'd like to hear an Obama speech, record him saying "Change" in that grandiloquent voice of his once...and repeat it incessantly.

There's something fundamentally disturbing about the very philosophy that has caused the Democrats to put him forth into the arena. I'm always wary of candidates who run as "outsiders". If you'll recall, Bush ran as an "outsider" during his first election (how a Yale-educated governor and son of a former President managed to pull that off boggles my mind), and we all know how HE worked out.

In almost any other profession, running as "an outsider" would be absurd. Would you want an "outsider" surgeon doing your back surgery? Would you want an "outsider" accountant doing your taxes? How about an "outsider" pilot flying your plane?

The reason most professions don't have "outsiders" is simple; in order to be really good at something, you have to have experience in that profession. Yet a politician like Barack Obama can point to his tiny tenure as a Senator and claim it's a GOOD thing.

Why is this? The reason is simple; people don't understand what politics is all about, especially when it comes to the office of the President. The common conception of a President is someone who knows what the best thing is for the country, then gets it done. Unfortunately, many people forget that those are only the beginning and and the end of the political process. The interim, and, in fact, the bulk of the process is the actual politics of it all, which is one of the most arcane arts in the world. A President doesn't just get elected, then begin assigning public policy. In order to be effective, a President has to have mastered the game of politics, has to know how to convince, cajole, and when necessary, coerce a slew of legislators and other beaureaucrats into following their programs. Wether for good or for ill, in order to be an effective leader on any government level, you have to know how to work the process, and you also have to have connections.

How difficult is politics to understand? It's an entirely seperate curriculum at Universities, and even people with PhD's in Political Science don't have any idea what the hell is going on half the time.

Don't get me wrong, I understand the appeal of an "outsider" candidate. Trust me, nobody is more sick of the current state of affairs in Washingon right now, and nobody is a bigger believer that our political system needs an overhaul.

However, the method of change that Barack represents is the wrong laxative for our democratic constipation. As I have said before and will say again, the reason that nothing is getting done in Washington anymore is because Democrats and Republicans long ago declared all-out, winner-takes all war on each other, and have retreated far back into the extremes of their respective ideologies.

How do you remedy this gridlock? The only solution is by finding somebody (or multiple somebodies) who are willing to resurrect the long-lost art of compromise. Elect people who are willing to walk across the no-mans land and work with their opposing party to genuinly, non-partisanly address the pressing issues facing our great nation. For years, there's been one figure that, above all others has displayed these qualities. I'll give you some hints: he's old, bald, refers to our capitol as "Warshington", and he's definately not an "outsider".

I can tell you one way NOT to remedy it: elect a man whose (short) voting record is lock-step with the dictates of his party. Elect a man who, from an ideological standpoint, is fairly far to the left on the political spectrum. Elect a man who has not been in the game long enough to make connections or to fully master the complex, weaving dance of flattery and force that is politics. If you're looking to pile more undigested beef into our nation's political bowels, than elect Barack Obama.

If anybody asks why, it's because he talks pretty.