Barack Obama's Fairy Godmother

I recently read an article describing a chance meeting between Barack Obama and an old guy after a speaking event. The man was something like 95 years old, and Barack at least feigned awe and respect for the mans longevity. For some reason, the man felt the need to hand the candidate his walking stick, saying that he has used the stick for several decades. And what does Barack do? He waves the stick in the air, saying that "he's going to use a stick like this to whip Congress into passing universal health care."

That's right folks, Barack Obama's going to pass universal health care. And he's going to do it by whuppin' Congress with a big stick.

In my humble opinion, Barack Obama is going to need a much more magical stick than that to even address healthcare at all, and he's going to need nothing short of God's own shillelagh to pass universal health care.

Let's take a look at his odds. First keep in mind that Bill Clinton ran on a similar platform, that he was going to "fix healthcare". We all know how far he got with that plan; his feeble attempt got swatted down like a five year old shooting against Yao Ming. Now, hate the guy or love him, the man is the Stephen Tyler of politcs. Even if he has the charm, Barack Obama doesn't have half the political skill that Clinton did, and he certainly doesn't have the experience.

I forgot to mention that Bill Clinton wasn't trying to pull this off in the current quagmire we're mired in now. Obama is, by his own fervent admission, inherinting an unstable nation. The U.S. is currently engaged in a costly, bloody conflict abroad, is breaking all records for defecits, and is on the verge of a full-fledged economic depression. I had the very enjoyable experience of attending the Bonnaroo music festival this year, and nowhere have I seen a greater mass of people with so many pressing issues to be angry about. In the words of the Pearl Jam lead singer, "there's a lot to be angry about these days, my friends..."

My point in all of this is, Barack has WAY too much on his plate to be able to pass something as controversial as universal health care. Even if he had the time and energy to fight the Republicans, the the simple, blunt truth is obvious. With our nation trillions of dollars in the red, the only way you could fund health care is to pull out of Iraq immediately, and raise the taxes significantly. Regardless of your personal take on politcal theory, nothing dispels a good speech (even one of Obama's) or a ruins good public policy strategy in the public's eyes like a tax hike, especially in these hard economic times.


Don't get me wrong, I'm all for universal health care... in theory. I'm also for world peace, an end to hunger, and unicorns that crap happiness. I simply do not believe that universal health care can be pulled off in a nation as large and diverse as the United States, especially not now.

As good as universal health care sounds, especially when it flows like honey from Obama's mouth, it just isn't feasible at the current time. This is just another empty political promise, a sunshine and rainbows hook designed to draw in naive voters. I would be mad about the claim, but it's a well-established tradition in the modern election, and these days every candidate, including McCain is guilty of it. Also, the alternative is even scarier...maybe he actually believes it himself!

One more thing: SCREW KANYE!