Comparative Headlines

Fox News: High Court Extends Gun Rights to All States
MSNBC: TOP COURT PUTS LIMITS ON LOCAL GUN BANS (CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.)
CNN: Chicago gun ban ruled unconstitutional (NOT top story)
New York Times: Justices say gun rights apply locally
Washington Post: Supreme Court Extends Gun Rights Nationwide (Hmmm...sound familar?)

Fox thinks the Court is finally giving people the inalieable right to shoot people in their own home. MSNBC thinks the Court is wildly restricting local governments' ability to keep people safe.

CNN just says what the hell happened.

NYT gives the real technical definition of the ruling.

Washington Post: see, Fox News.

Fox News Headlines

Fox News has a section on it's site devoted to legalizing marijuana. It's called "Going to Pot."

The Rundown:

A.) Seriously? Has anyone said seriously said the phrase "going to pot" since the 90s? Fox must be TRYING to alienate young people.

B.) Among the related topics: Starbucks. YOU DAMN KIDS WITH YOUR POT AND YOUR HIPPIE COFFEE.

C.) See, the graphic head looks like a dog tag. Because it's war. On drugs. Get it?

The Party of No

In this mediocre column, we see why John Boehner and the Republicans are failing America:

"For Boehner, being called the "Party of No" isn't a regrettable invective. It is a strategy aimed at highlighting the contrast between those running things and those who want to run things."

Yo! Minority leader! Democrats don't "run things." Congress runs things. It isn't about what the Democrats are doing or what you're doing -- it's about what everybody's doing.
This kind of thinking is exactly why Congress is broken, not because people don't kiss ass as much as Boehner would like.

Second:

"Boehner is reluctant to speculate about November when 100 seats will be in play. If thign should go bump on election night -- and should Boehner replace Pelosi as speaker -- expect to see lots of blood on the floor. First to get the hatchet would be health-care reform, which Republicans would seek to replace with "common sense" measures to reduce insurance costs and secure jobs. Other priorities would include line-by-line budget cuts, entitlemetn reform, and restoration of the integrity of the House."

The last one pains me, it really does.
Also, who in the hell does Boehner think he is? Some kind of legislative Superman? The Democrats barely managed to get HCR reform passed with a supermajority and the President. Is he arrogant -- and delusional -- enough to think his party can get it repealed with a regular ole' majority and over an inevitable veto?
Besides? Is he really going to bring that painful issue up again before presidential elections happen?

Also, I physically cringe at the return of the ignoble "common sense measures," as used in the HCR debate. The audacity of saying there is a "common sense" solution to something as vast and complicated as health care is sickening.

I have no love for the Democrats, but I'm really starting to hope they keep the majority. Because this pre-emptive bragging the Republicans have been doing for months already is really, really getting old.

BP Spills Coffee

This is spreading around the Internet like crazy. It isn't really fair -- but it is hilarious.

Our American Newsmakers

Somebody at Fox News is really very bored.

The Huffington Post Sucks.

I hate to break it to you, enlightened college students, but the Huffington Post is crap.

Take, for example, this.

Who gives a damn what Alec Baldwin thinks about oil policy? Seriously! He has literally no expertise about oil spills. He is an actor. They even have the gall to slap it on there under his title, without even a lame attempt to bilk him up as an expert (like what people are doing to James Cameron). It's right there under his name!

An actor.

I don't care if he were Marlon damn Brando. He's an actor.

I get it. The site is supposed to be Arriana Huffington and all her very interesting friends blogging off the cuff. That would be fine, but people have started treating it like a legitimate venue for legitimate opinion journalism, for well-reasoned rational analysis -- and any site that unflinchingly has Alec Baldwin talking about energy policy is NOT THAT.

What really kills me about the Huffington Post is that the liberals that frequent it are often the loudest critics of the bias propigated Fox News and its imitators.

I got news for you -- the Huffington Post is just the left-leaning equivalent, complete with a fawning love for celebrities and an almost cartoonish pretension.

Badly Timed Boom

Oh for crying out loud.

I would not want to be an oil industry lobbyist right now.

PR via Google

Want to try something fun? Google "oil spill" and see who bought the link.

A Sense of Scale

Oh, S---.

I know some South Louisianans are clamoring especially loudly about this. "Well, we'll see how fast the response is once it gets up there."

I dunno. Having seen how mind-bogglingly big this spill (and, by necessity, the cleanup) is, and powerful and unmanageable the forces involved are, I really don't know that that's fair.

But if oil starts washing up the Potomac, you just know Rep. Melancon's going to have a field day.

It just boggles the mind how big -- and bad -- this is.

It's Not Going to Be as Easy as They Think, Cont.

More evidence.

Again, Democrats aren't going to keep all their seats -- but it's also not going to be the massacre Republicans seem to think it is.

This Week in Lulz.

I've always wondered about that.

An Unfortunate Farewell

It's sad it had to end this way.

I dunno how I feel about this. Yeah, Helen Thomas' comments were stupid -- really stupid. But the woman's been a member of the WHPC since JFK. And, while certainly not politically safe, the views she voiced aren't utterly outrageous.

It's also important to note that she's of relatively recent Palestinian descent. I don't know if that influenced her decision, but if it did -- well, I dunno if that makes it more or less tolerable.

Anyway, it's really a shame that someone who's been at the top of the game for so long (frickin' JFK) has to go out like this. She deserves a graceful exit, and her unfortunate comments probably mean she will be denied that.

Bizarro World

This is bizarre.

The Rundown:

A.) Does this mean Rush Limbaugh doesn't really care about gays, but instead goes on his borderline-homophobic diatribes out of a carefully-calculated move to court his constituency?

B.) Isn't Elton John rich enough that he could y'know, not take a gig with the original Angry Conservative Pundit (TM)?

C.) Fourth wife. She's more than 20 years younger. She's more than a little attractive. Shouldn't that make Ye Olde Family Values people a little uh, uncomfortable?

The Cool Stuff Department

Don't sneeze.

This is pretty crazy. Could you imagine a bunch of Americans doing this? Especially the whole "work on something for six days before immediately dismantling it?"

Yeah, those are some freeeed minds there, maaaan.

Ps: I'd name mine Nelson.

Fixing the Oil Spill with Magic

Don't worry guys, they got this.

Read the last two paragraphs:

Meanwhile, "Avatar" and "Titantic" director James Cameron joined a group of scientists and other experts who met Tuesday with officials from the Environmental Protection Agency and other federal agencies for a brainstorming session on stopping the massive oil leak.

The Canadian-born director is considered an expert on underwater filming and remote vehicle technologies.

He'll fix it.

History via CNN

This is cool.

A little self-serving, but cool.

This Week In Owned.

Every once in a while, I stumble upon a piece of writing that makes me giggle malevolently. You know those moments in action movies when there's that moment of grim satisfaction after the hero absolutely destroys the villian, and all the pent-up urges you've had to see that villian get annhilated are released?

Yeah, sometimes that happens in writing. And, for a word nerd like me, it's just as glorious.

For example, a Salon.com article by Wajahat Ali decrying the shallowness and inanity of Sex and the City 2.

Kaboom.

The Money Shot: (although there are many.)

"Our four female cultural avatars, like imperialistic Barbies, milk Abu Dhabi for leisure and hedonism without making any discernable, concrete efforts to learn about her people and their daily lives."

Imperialistic Barbies...well-played, sir.